New Jersey gets a bad rap. It has been called the Armpit of America. It has been spoofed on sketch comedy shows for years. And now, we seem to be buying into the whole thing with a slew of reality television shows such as Jersey Shore, Jersey Couture, and Jerseylicious. Of course, there’s also Bravo’s The Real Housewives of New Jersey.

Perhaps the Real Housewives of New Jersey do send real Christmas cards...although something tells me Teresa Giudice won't be able to afford to do that this year.

First of all, “real” housewives? Are they serious? Real housewives keep house, raise their children, write out the family Christmas cards, and, especially in today’s world, they probably work hard inside and outside the home to make ends meet and keep the family functioning. The Real Housewives of New Jersey, on the other hand, serve on committees, keep plastic surgeons in business, flip tables when things get a little too “real,” and file for bankruptcy when they go into millions of dollars of debt (ahem…Teresa Giudice). And, if their name happens to be Danielle Staub, they stir up drama with their shady pasts including sex tapes and cocaine.

But that’s okay, because, according to Staub, she “brought attention” to New Jersey. Forget Sinatra, Nicholson, and oh, I dunno… Thomas Edison? New Jersey was just a blip on the map until this woman showed up, like a Christmas miracle. She and her frenemies are supposed to represent Springsteen’s New Jersey? If you believe that, I have a toll booth I’d like to sell you on the Garden State Parkway.

With a group of drama queens like this, I bet that if they can be bothered to send them, their Christmas cards are quite a thing to read. They may be very pretty but of little substance (like their senders), or they may be gaudy on the outside and full of phony wishes on the inside (like their senders). Either way, these hypothetical holiday tidings would be just as fake as the hair extensions and boob jobs that make The Real Housewives of New Jersey such a ratings hit.