This would've made the perfect photo to accompany their Christmas cards. Jim and Jenny are pictured with Jim's daughter, Jane, and Jenny's son, Evan. Too bad!

The announcement that Jenny McCarthy and Jim Carrey are splitting up after a five-year relationship made me kind of sad when I heard the news. Although unmarried, from what the tabloid TV shows and other news items reported, it seemed that the couple had a real solid thing going and it looked like they would last for quite a long time. Alas, it appears that there won’t be any McCarthy/Carrey Christmas cards sent out this year.

It’s a shame, too, because Jenny McCarthy had always maintained that her autistic son, Evan, and Jim Carry always had a special relationship. Despite Carrey’s zany behavior during talk show appearances and movie roles that exhibit a somewhat irreverent personality, Carrey’s closeness with the boy shows what the man himself is really about. In fact, it was a couple of years ago at a rally in Washington, D.C. that Carrey admitted that, “Autism made [him] a man.” Although we are not privy to the details of how the actor and McCarthy’s son bonded so well, the fact that the future will be different for them certainly is a disappointment.

McCarthy came into the public eye initially when she posed for Playboy magazine in 1993. Her career branched out as she began to appear on television and as an actress in several movies. To some, McCarthy is most respected for her autism advocacy. She is an author of several books on parenting and autism; her first publication came out in 1997. She is also a spokesperson for the organization Talk About Curing Autism and a board member of Generation Rescue. She believes vaccines have much to do with the spread of autism and that less is more. Through her research and hard work, McCarthy has improved Evans’s condition to the point where he is now classified as “typical”, meaning that although he still has auditory issues, his autism has been cured.

So, while the bad news is that a longtime relationship has apparently ended, the good news is that her son is doing very well and it looks like he has a bright future ahead of him. So this year’s Christmas card – while it may lack the face of Jim Carrey – will be a bright and cheery one nevertheless.

Perhaps one of the better pictures of Anna Nicole Smith, appearing happy and not boozed out or drugged up.

Larry Birkhead stopped to pose for a photograph with daughter Dannielynn during a Christmas shopping spree.

Anna Nicole Smith hosted a Christmas party on her 2002 reality show, leaving behind a dysfunctional holiday tradition captured on video that would definitely be better off forgotten. Perhaps Christmas cards sent instead to all those who attended the event would have been a more appropriate memory of the holiday season that year.

Anna Nicole hosted this Christmas party dressed in a low-cut red dress trimmed with a white fur collar. At one point during the party, guests sat on her lap as she played “Santa” and distributed gifts. The evening progressed rapidly downhill as the drinking increased. Fights, drunken caroling, and stripping are only some of the highlights of this get together. The most disturbing portrait of Anna Nicole is the aftermath of a drunken make-out scene under the mistletoe between herself and comedienne Margaret Cho. Anna looks into the camera, her face smeared with red lipstick, her facial features hideously distorted from too much liquor…and possibly drugs. Surely this picture printed on a Christmas card might have been the perfect legacy to pass along to her then alive son Daniel and his yet unborn sister Dannielynn.

Dannielynn is an innocent contrast to her mother’s drunken holiday image. After a very lengthy public paternity suit, Larry Birkhead appears to be a loving father tying to bring some normalcy into the little girl’s life. Speaking about the impending suit, Larry is quoted as saying, “Christmas has come early, and I thank God that I will soon have the opportunity to prove that I am the father of Dannielynn.” One year later, Mr. Birkhead is chased by a group of paparazzi while Christmas shopping for his little girl. Unable to outrun the cameras, Larry stops to show one purchase he made for his pride and joy – a pair of pink converse sneakers. Perhaps Christmas cards featuring the smiling face of Dannielynn, the innocent offspring of the tragic mother, would be a better legacy to pass along for Anna Nicole Smith.

How sweet! This picture would be perfect to accompany their Christmas cards. With Nicolas Cage and wife Alice Kim along with son Weston + one blondie, the only Cage missing is young Kal-El.

There isn’t much that’s ordinary about Nicolas Cage. That’s what makes him interesting. He is part of one of Hollywood’s biggest families, which includes his uncle, director Francis Ford Coppola; his aunt, actress Talia Shire; and his cousins, director Sofia Coppola, actor Jason Schwartzman, and actor/musician Robert Schwartzman. Talk about a big Christmas cards list! His list of film roles spans from a punk in Valley Girl to a tortured baker in Moonstruck to an alcoholic in Leaving Las Vegas to a superhero in Ghost Rider. As if his varied movie roles aren’t enough, he’s been married to Patricia Arquette (who he proposed to on their first date) and Lisa Marie Presley (who he divorced about 100 days later), owned a haunted house, and ate cockroaches to authenticate a part (in Wild at Heart).

Even brilliantly eccentric celebrities sometimes get a hankering for a traditional holiday celebration. In 2000, Cage starred in The Family Man. In this story of an investment broker who takes the path less traveled, Cage’s character says goodbye to his college sweetheart and tosses away the promise of a traditional family life for the risk of his demanding, successful career. After a chance meeting with an angel in the form of Don Cheadle, Cage wakes up on Christmas morning to a picturesque, Christmas card of a life, complete with a wife, two kids, and a house in suburban New Jersey.

Cage’s traditional Christmas didn’t stop there. In 2001, he voiced Jacob Marley in an animated version of Dickens’ A Christmas Carol, which also starred Kate Winslet, Simon Callow, and Michael Gambon. He must have really enjoyed himself on that project, because several years later, he had a “Charles Dickens Christmas” at his home in Bath, England. In 2007, his family, including wife Alice and sons Kal-el and Weston, settled down for a first-time Dickensian celebration.

Sounds like a celebrity Christmas card in the making. A wife, two kids, and a house in suburban England? Complete with figgy pudding, that would be a holiday greeting that anyone would like to receive! I wouldn’t be surprised if he reenacted the story of Ebenezer Scrooge and called on those ghosts haunting his other house to play the parts of the ghosts of Christmas past, present, and future. If anyone could pull it off, and do it well, it would be Nick Cage!

Did the Cage family continue the tradition in 2008? Only they would know. Cage has starred in over seventy films, and after almost thirty years in the business, shows no sign of slowing his busy workload.

A photo to remember...Vanessa Redgrave decked to the nines on the red carpet with beloved daughter, the late Natasha Richardson.

Vanessa Redgrave’s destiny was prophesied on the day of her birth. She was announced by Sir Laurence Olivier on the stage of the Old Vic. In Olivier style he said, “Ladies and gentlemen, tonight a great actress has been born. Laertes has a daughter!” The play that night was Hamlet and Laertes was played by Vanessa’s father, renowned actor Michael Redgrave. Her family tree contains actors dating from the early 1800s. Imagine receiving Christmas cards from that clan! Inevitably, she chose the stage and followed up with film and the small screen as her choice of professions.

Vanessa has used her fame to fight for social causes in which she firmly believes. Her controversial stands for human rights and defense of the oppressed often put her at odds with the mainstream. This probably more than anything has left her without the British title of Dame that has been bestowed upon her peers. Her radical stands have taken her as far as raising funds for a Marxist school in London. Her commitment to her ideals at times overshadows her acting and she uses her fame as an actress to promote her beliefs.

Vanessa Redgrave’s marriage to actor Tony Richardson produced two beautiful daughters, Natasha and Joely, who both chose to follow in the family’s acting footsteps. Natasha died tragically in a skiing accident in March of 2009. Viewing pictures of Vanessa entering the hospital in New York and later at Natasha’s gravesite in upstate New York showed the absolute grief she was experiencing. It never seems right for a parent to bury a child. We all mourned with Vanessa and the rest of the family. Natasha was above the Hollywood glare, living a peaceful life in rural New York with her husband, Irish actor Liam Neeson, and their two sons. Her death was a tragedy that won’t soon be forgotten. She was an elegant, graceful woman who also lived life according to her beliefs.

Like the suffragettes of old, Vanessa’s ideals have often left her in unsteady relationships with men. Upon her divorce from Tony Richardson, she started a life-long relationship with actor Francesco Sparanero, known as Franco Nero. This union produced a son, Carlo Sparanero, who goes by the name Carlo Nero. Vanessa and Franco’s relationship was torn apart by her commitment to activism and her dedication to her former husband, Tony Richardson, when he was dying of AIDS. Franco wanted her to be a traditional wife and mother but she was true to her beliefs and traveled the world promoting her causes no matter how controversial they were. She also had a relationship with Timothy Dalton that was broken up due to her activism. Franco Nero was never far from her and they finally recognized their commitment to each other by marrying in 2006. They were spied walking hand and hand on the beach on the Isle of Capri during Christmas 2008.

I cannot imagine what Vanessa Regdrave’s Christmas cards would look like. There is rarely a mention of Christmas, other than her time with Franco last year, in any mainstream media publication. She came from a traditional British acting family so I assume they celebrated Christmas in the traditional British manner. She has become an icon of controversy so it is difficult to envision her celebrating the holiday in any way. She attended the Christmas Market in Grayshotts, England in 2008 with her daughter Joely. She is pictured joining in the holiday spirit and seems to be enjoying herself at the event. It was a pre-Christmas event staged by the shopkeepers of the town to support various organizations. Of course, Vanessa is a UNICEF good will ambassador, so if she were to send out Christmas cards, she could opt for one of their charitable designs.

Even if not dubbed Dame, Vanessa has given her all to her acting career. She has been recognized as a leading actor by her peers. Vanessa won the Best Supporting Actress Oscar in 1977 for her portrayal of Julia in the film of the same name. The movie also included fellow activist Jane Fonda as Lillian Hellman. Among her other achievements include BAFTA, Golden Globe, Emmy, and Cannes Film Festival awards along with nominations too lengthy to mention.

Vanessa was due to perform The Year of Magical Thinking at a charity benefit at New York’s St. John the Divine church in April. She has postponed this performance until later in the year. It will be a challenging performance for her as the play is a monologue about a mother’s grief at the loss of her 39 year old daughter. I am sure her acting skills will help her keep her own emotions at bay during the performance.

One of the many Christmas cards making a mockery of Tiger Woods after his infidelity became a hot topic in the media.

In recent months, we have witnessed the fall of American royalty. While not committing an actual crime (other than those against his marriage), Tiger Woods has gone from one of our most honored and respected public figures to a pariah – shunned by fans and advertisers alike. To commemorate this precipitous fall-from-grace, a number of humorous web sites have designed Tiger Woods Christmas cards to highlight the megastar’s self-created tribulations.

In the first FreakingNews.com Tiger Woods Christmas card, he is decked out in his usual Nike regalia, is pictured in the follow-through of his classic golf swing. A decorated Christmas tree stands at the left, next to the message “To:” followed by the names of Tiger’s wife, “Elin”, and a list of some of his alleged paramours, “Jesse, Rachel, Jennifer, Jessica. Merry Christmas Baby! Love, Tiger Woods”. All of the women’s names other than the last one have a line drawn through them. Adding humor to the obvious knock on his multiple dalliances is the insinuation that someone with Tiger’s rather considerable means went through the trouble of ordering preprinted Christmas cards for his harem in bulk, presumably to save a few dollars.

In the second FreakingNews.com offering (pictured above), the Christmas card is addressed only to Elin, but carries a less contrite tone than one might expect. The picture is of a perturbed-looking Tiger gazing over his right shoulder with a severely bent golf club wrapped around the crown of his head. In the greeting, Tiger first denies having relations with any of his accusers, but then backtracks and admits to only one or two affairs – which he claims not to have enjoyed. He ends by wishing his wife a Merry Christmas and a better year than he’s having and complimenting her on her “great swing… ouch!”

In perhaps the most famous image to make the rounds after the events of last Thanksgiving, pictured on egge.net, a bruised and battered Tiger stands next to his beaming wife in an official-looking couples photo. Photoshopped touches include one missing and several broken teeth, multiple lumps and stitches on the forehead and cheeks, and a left eye swollen completely shut. A nine-iron has been added in Elin’s grasp. The caption reads, “MERRY CHRISTMAS From Mr. & Mrs. Tiger Woods.”

Fortunately, the humor in these Christmas cards is not over-the top and they can provide a lighthearted laugh. I do find it hard to fathom the current phenomenon where an exalted public figure’s private failings can completely derail his or her life and career. On the subject of celebrities and their personal lives, it seems as though our information society has become a too-much-information society. Let me state for the record that I have never been a Tiger Woods fan. The fact that he was handed a $40 million check by Nike before a single professional accomplishment along with his attitude on the green has never endeared him to me. The fact that he continues to pile up all-time records in an era of weak competition on the PGA tour irks me to no end. But I can’t understand the argument that because Tiger possesses incredible wealth and fame or because a number of corporations pay him to endorse their products, that he somehow owes an apology to anyone other than his wife and family. While his behavior certainly cannot be condoned, I can’t say that I am one of the multitude of fans or members of the media who take a perverse pleasure in seeing a man’s downfall over something which should be a private matter. To the celebrity (and later the mainstream) media which made Tiger’s stepping out the most covered story in America for two months, I say, “ENOUGH!”

Ain't this the perfect Holiday cards photo...Ron Howard a.k.a. Richie Cunningham posing with Fonzie and the gang from "Happy Days".

For those of us old enough to remember TV shows from the early 1960s, one that will surely conjure images of a Norman Rockwell painting depicting small town USA or a Currier & Ives Christmas cards setting of a snow covered countryside is The Andy Griffith Show. One of the show’s stars was six-year-old Ron Howard.

Ron Howard was born March 1, 1954 to a show business family. His father is actor/director Rance Howard and his mother is actress Jean Speegle Howard. He appeared in his first movie at the age of 18 months and has been in front of or behind a camera ever since.

Ron became well known when he was cast as Opie, Sheriff Andy Taylor’s son on The Andy Griffith Show. Most fans of TV are familiar with the series that is set in the quiet rural town of Mayberry, North Carolina, where Andy and Opie live with the widowed sheriff’s Aunt Bee. Not much crime takes place in town so most of the exploits revolve around Andy handling squabbles between neighbors or calming down his overly reactive deputy, Barney Fife.

I remember The Andy Griffith Show’s first holiday program. It aired on Monday, December 19th in 1960 and was simply titled “Christmas Story”. I was ten-years-old at the time. My younger brother and I were helping our mother prepare holiday cards and address the envelopes as we watched the story of Mayberry’s scrooge, store owner Ben Weaver, insist that Andy arrest local bootlegger Sam Muggins on Christmas Day. Ben, who sells liquor in his store, doesn’t want Sam’s moonshine to outsell his legal booze. Andy reluctantly throws Sam in jail and then proceeds to arrest his entire family so they can all be together for Christmas. With help from Aunt Bee, Opie, and Barney, Andy puts together a holiday party at the courthouse. When Ben sees the festivities he wants to join in, so he begins to commit various petty crimes to get arrested. Andy refuses until he realizes that Ben just wants to share in the holiday spirit.

In 1974 Ron began to play the role of Richie Cunningham on Happy Days. That same year, “Guess Who’s Coming to Christmas” episode aired on Tuesday, December 17th. The story involved Richie, who discovered that Fonzie will be spending Christmas alone, contriving a plan that would get the whole gang to celebrate Christmas together. I can’t remember where I watched the show that year but it wasn’t with mom and my brother stuffing Christmas cards into envelopes.

Ron directed the feature film The Grinch, which was released on November 17, 2000, based on the Dr. Seuss story, How the Grinch Stole Christmas. Starring Jim Carrey in the title role of the green, scrooge-like character that would never send holiday cards or celebrate the holidays, it went on to earn $260 million at the U.S. box office.

On her E! evening show, Chelsea Lately, Chelsea Handler featured a Christmas card to Santa written by one of her friend's sons.

For those of us that celebrate Christmas we often send Christmas cards featuring the jolly iconic images of Saint Nicholas. Santa Claus, the gift giver idolized by children around the world, sets up his sleigh and reindeer every Christmas Eve to bring gifts to all the good girls and boys. The children leave out cookies and milk for their gift toting hero and carrots for the reindeer are placed by the decorated Christmas tree in hopes that Santa will arrive with that one (or many gifts) their heart desires.

Santa Claus has a power over the children of the world that matches no other. This power is harnessed by the parents of the world to ensure good behavior from their children for at least six months out of the year. Parents constantly warn their kids that Santa Claus and his elves are watching them and everything they do. After making his list and checking it twice he would know if they had been naughty or nice. Not wanting a stocking full of coal to arrive Christmas morning, the children will usually gradually modify their behavior towards the nicer side as the season of sending Christmas cards and gift giving is set to begin.

Chelsea Handler, the popular host of the E! evening talk show Chelsea Lately featured a Christmas card to Santa written by an acquaintance’s child on an episode airing just prior to the Christmas season. The letter read:

“Dear Santa,
I am totally frecked out by you watching me Santa. Stop watching me Santa. please.
Love, Ryan.
PS I want Speed Racer. Thank You”

Chelsea spoke of what the parents’ warnings about Santa Claus can do to a child. As an adult, most people would be filing a restraining order if we knew someone and their gang of helpers was watching our every move to see if we were naughty or nice. We certainly wouldn’t be leaving out treats in anticipation of their arrival. Not wanting to completely alienate Santa and his elves, Ryan politely asks Santa Claus to stop stalking him while still including his gift of choice in the letter. Chelsea Handler has truly provided a public service to the parents of the world. Buying a Speed Racer at the local toy store and signing the Christmas card “Mom and Dad” will certainly save monumental therapy costs for these parents and their children later in life.

In addition to hosting a late night talk show, Chelsea Handler has performed nationwide as a stand-up comedian and appeared as a regular on the Oxygen Network series, Girls Behaving Badly. On April 15, 2009, Handler won the 2009 Bravo A-List Award for “A-List Funny.” Chelsea Handler has also written two books that both appeared on the New York Times Best Seller List. The first, a memoir, is titled My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One Night Stands, and the second a collection of humorous essays entitled Are Your There, Vodka? It’s Me Chelsea.

Isn't that cute? Heidi Montag (sans new nose) and hubby Spencer Pratt volunteered at the Los Angeles Mission last holiday season. This photo would make for the perfect Christmas cards from this skin-deep couple.

So what is this obsession the attention-loving “actress” Heidi Montag has with her face? Supposedly, she has gone under the knife twice – the second time having had 10 plastic surgery procedures in one day!! Is she trying to look as good as possible for her and husband Spencer Pratt’s photo Christmas cards next year? What’s going on here? No male whose eyes can still focus would honestly think that her face needed any tampering – especially at the age of 23. It is pretty obvious that she is very insecure, reportedly having had rhinoplasty, breast augmentation, and collagen lip injections three years ago.

So why the lack of confidence? Is it because deep down she feels she’s talentless? Is the only way she can become a success in life to flaunt her physical attributes? Perhaps. Her foray into the music business several years ago was certainly not a success. Although she worked with successful producer David Foster, his magic did not work in her case, as her debut album, Superficial – which cost upwards over two million dollars to produce – sold a measly 1,000 copies its first week of release and has sold maybe 7,000 units in total. Not an auspicious debut by any means!

So what does this young woman look forward to? More plastic surgery? “Possibly,” she says. A well-known plastic surgeon basically feels women who say they absolutely must have more and more of these types of procedures often need counseling. Getting a stormy relationship back on track or securing a part in a TV show or movie is not a good reason for having plastic surgery.

Whether her priorities are a bit mixed up or not, this doesn’t necessarily mean she is not a good person. A few years ago, she and Spencer’s Christmas cards may have included a photo from their Christmas Eve visit to the Los Angeles Mission, where they helped serve food to the needy and handed out Christmas presents to children. Now that is what is important – not nose jobs and fake breasts!

This past holiday season, Johnny Depp was spotted buying Christmas gifts with director pal Tim Burton in London.

Johnny Depp, the quirky actor and star of many offbeat character movies, spent this past holiday season in a rather mundane way. He was spotted Christmas shopping with his friend and director, Tim Burton, at London’s Forbidden Planet, a store that specializes in movie memorabilia and toys. He had in hand several items for purchase: a Betty Boop doll, Simpson figures, and what appears to be a wooden marionette – but not a single box of Christmas cards (perhaps that is his girlfriend’s job)! Tim Burton has been the director of many Johnny Depp movies over the years. Each man is a father of young children; therefore Christmas shopping is probably expected of them both.

Johnny Depp is dressed in rather drab attire for the season, apparently trying to appear incognito to avoid the usual paparazzi and fans. Dressed in jeans, denim jacket, tweed overcoat, sunglasses, and a hat, Johnny appears rather nondescript and unenthusiastic as he goes about his holiday shopping task. He was interviewed about his Christmas plans which were equally ordinary, spending time with his two children and longtime girlfriend while waiting for Santa Claus to arrive. One can only speculate that like every other family at this time of year, the Depps spend time decorating a tree, wrapping Christmas presents, writing out Christmas cards and perhaps even baking Christmas cookies!

Compare this holiday scene to the Christmas happenings of Johnny Depp’s character, Edward Scissorhands. Edward is the invention of an eccentric elderly inventor played by Vincent Price. Edward is a young man with a very odd appearance, most notably his hands which consist of many sharp blades resembling scissors. His dark leather attire, wildly askew hairdo, and scarred face conceal a very naïve and sensitive being. To further condense the story line, he is befriended by a wacky Avon lady whose daughter falls in love with him (who wouldn’t?). After some problems with the police and other individuals in town, his newfound family decides to have a Christmas party to smooth things over in the neighborhood.

The family house is decorated with colored lights, and a neon display reads “Happy Holidays” upon the roof. As mother and daughter decorate an artificial white tree, circa 1960s, with ornaments and bells, Edward Scissorhands is on the front lawn doing what he does best – carving topiaries. He is making an impressive angel ice sculpture and the ice shavings are floating and swirling throughout the night air. In a region that never gets snow, it is a magnificent sight to behold when the daughter comes outside and dances amongst the ice crystals in a scene that warms the holiday heart. It is here that the viewer gets a glimpse of why Edward has such horrific, inhuman hands. In a flashback, Edward is seen receiving a red wrapped Christmas present from his creator. The box contains two human-like hands that will never be a part of Edward; his creator falls to the floor, a victim of an apparent heart attack. The perfect Christmas gift of having life-like hands is lost forever.

The reality of Johnny Depp’s everyday life during the Christmas season is probably much more exciting than it appears. But the magical life and unfortunately, ruined Christmas of Edward Scissorhands, is far more enchanting than anything a human being could possibly hope for. Merry Christmas, Johnny and Edward! You are still loved by all!

The perfect Christmas cards...Marcia Cross posing with hubby Tom, twin daughters Eden and Savannah, and of course, Santa.

Of course being a true Melrose Place fan, whenever I see Marcia Cross I think of her character as the evil Dr. Kimberly Shaw, someone who I cannot see sending out cute Christmas cards with a photo of her beautiful daughters on the cover! So when I was looking through a magazine and came across a photo featuring Marcia, her husband, and her daughters Eden and Savannah taking pictures with Santa, it was quite impressive.

I love the fact that she isn’t like most other celebrities that dress the kids all in red with an equally red-dressed mommy and daddy. I love that she kept it simple…some pictures with Santa with the girls in cute little dresses, and she is dressed very casual. When I receive Christmas cards, I don’t want to see a picture that looks like it has a big blob of red in the middle! So good for her for keeping it simple and not going over the top!

Marcia is currently starring as Bree Hodge on Desperate Housewives and is also the new face of Mott’s Applesauce. She is also an Emmy and Golden Globe nominated actress. As for her home life, she had only been dating stock broker, Tom Mahoney, for six months when she accepted his marriage proposal. Their wedding was in June 2006 and later that year in September, they announced that they were expecting twins due to arrive in April. In January she was placed on precautionary bed rest until the birth of her twins, therefore suspending her acting duties on Desperate Housewives. But with great determination, Marcia asked for the entire cast and crew to shoot at her house – some scenes were shot right in her very own bedroom! If Marcia puts the same amount of dedication into her Christmas cards for next year, I’m sure they will be spectacular!