Celebrity Christmas Cards I Don’t Want
Wednesday, December 14th, 2011 by gilthoWith only a week left before Christmas, celebrities must be scrambling to send out those last minute Christmas cards. Correction: celebrity assistants must be scrambling to send out those last minute Christmas cards. While Santa is making his list and checking it twice, I’ve compiled my own list. I present to you, the epic, monumental, out-of-this-world list of celebrities I do NOT want to receive Christmas cards from, the 2011 edition.
• Miley Cyrus—Oh Miley, oh honey, really? Really? You are taking the stoner route? You are going to shed your good girl Disney image by taking bong pictures and having Bob Marley birthday cakes? Really? Have you not learned any lessons from…
• Lindsay Lohan—Because, let’s be real, when you have to pose for Playboy after brief stints in jail, your career is extremely rock solid! Lindsay’s spread has leaked on the Internet, so I can’t imagine the issue will be a big-sell. Hey, Lindsay, remember that music career you had? Maybe you can sing a duet with..
• Justin Bieber—On second thought, don’t. Just don’t. Paternity tests, a haircut. It was a busy year for this kid. Justin, please admit to being the father of that baby. You could send out such adorable Christmas cards, your potential offspring rocking the wavy-emo hair, Selena Gomez shedding tears in the background. Speaking of Selena (because I couldn’t think of a snappier segue, cut me some slack)…
• Jennifer Lopez—I still want my money back from sitting through The Back-Up Plan. And watching a lackluster, highly-autotuned singer give advice to wannabes on American Idol is enough to make me miss Paula.
I think I’ve been grinchy enough. I could add more (I’m looking at you, Simon Cowell—enough with the V-necks!), but there’s always next year. Until then, keep doing what you do so well, you crazy celebrities! And, as always, feel free to add your two cents below!










