Ain't that cute! It's the whole Kardashian crew smiling for their Christmas cards photo. What an interesting bunch...and that's all I'm going to say.

I’m sending a Christmas card to Hollywood this year. I’m going to ask the big wigs out there to stop shoving reality television down my throat. Think they’ll take the time to read it?

Remember back in the good old days when the only Kardashian anyone had ever heard of was Robert, lawyer to O.J. Simpson? Times have changed. In 2007, a new family entered the reality TV sphere. Keeping Up with the Kardashians follows the lives of Kris, the matriarch, her second husband, Bruce Jenner, and kids Kourtney, Kim, Khloé, Rob, Kendall, and Kylie. I’m still not quite sure what these people are famous for. I did a little research and apparently, Kim is best known for her social life. Wow, what an accomplishment. She appears to be following in the footsteps of other “famous for being famous” stars like Paris Hilton, complete with unauthorized sex tape. Of course, that’s all it takes to get you a spot on Dancing with the Stars these days. At least Bruce Jenner was an Olympian… not that his plastic surgeon will be winning any medals in the Face Lift category. Yikes!

So, what is it that these people do??? Apparently, Kris Kardashian manages her daughters’ careers. The girls own a boutique called DASH and participate in various reality shows. I know it’s not their fault, but the fact that their names all begin with the letter K really bugs me. Hey, Kris – stop trying so hard!

Remember the show Eight is Enough? Well, not for this family. Khloé is married to L.A. Laker Lamar Odom, and Kourtney recently had a son, Mason. Don’t think the family is big enough? Well, check out their 2009 Christmas cards. There are the Jenners, and the Kardashians, and Lamar, and pregnant Kourtney. And amidst all of that stands Ryan Seacrest.

Although the edition of the heir to Dick Clark’s throne seems kind of odd, he is the executive producer of the family’s reality show, so it’s not completely out there after all. The family that plays together stays together? I don’t know. If I were Bruce, I’d give him back his trademark sign off and say “Seacrest – out!”

It took me a while to figure out that this Christmas card is actually a photo from Khloé and Lamar’s wedding day. At first I scrutinized the photo, mocking Kris and Kourtney for wearing almost the same dress, wondering why everyone was in purple. And then I realized that Khloé was wearing a wedding dress. Do you see what reality television does? It rots the mind to the point where even the obvious becomes puzzling!

Oh Paul! What were you thinking marrying such a shameless desperado? Your fans are very relieved that your Christmas cards this year won't be signed by this loon.

I can imagine that Paul McCartney and his ex-wife, Heather Mills, will never, ever be exchanging Christmas cards again in this or in any other lifetime. As a Beatle fanatic and a McCartney devotee in particular, it still makes me mad to think of the garbage that that lying so-and-so must have put the ex-Beatle through during their several years together. Surely, Paul’s children won’t be sending Christmas cards to Mills either since it was widely reported that they had tried to convince their father not to marry her, probably because they could see right through her. So bad.

Now, I know that it’s been a few years since she and Paul McCartney have divorced, but I still get angry when thinking of what she put him through and that superior attitude she has about herself or the exaggerating of the truth about her life’s accomplishments and Paul’s alleged misdeeds. She claims that McCartney physically abused not only her during their marriage but also his first wife – the deceased Linda McCartney. Yeah right! If Paul had done anything to the lovely Linda, I’m sure at some point during his 29 year marriage to her something would have come out about some violent act he did to her somewhere along the line, don’t you think? Unlike Mills, Linda and Paul made a lovely couple who probably sent out memorable Christmas cards each year.

It has been reported that the night before Heather Mills and Paul McCartney were to be wed, she threw her expensive engagement ring out the window during an angry argument with her husband-to-be, where he supposedly was overheard saying, “Let’s call off the wedding!” He should have. The result of their divorce was Mills being awarded $38.5 million, down from her asking price of five times that amount! (It’s still a lot of money, but he’ll have to carry that weight.) After the amount of the award was announced by the judge – who stated, “Mills case was inconsistent, inaccurate and less than candid while McCartney was honest.” – Mills erupted by pouring water on the head of McCartney’s attorney! Smart move.

Mills will go to any lengths in order to make people think she is a poor, innocent victim. In fact, Mills has a history of lying, having seen a psychiatrist years ago for that specific problem. She has lied about her employment history, instances of sexual abuse as a child, and other aspects of her life. A man, who during the 1990s was to marry her five days before she called it off, has stated: “Heather had a somewhat elastic relationship with the truth, which she was able to stretch impressively.” She has said she will never speak badly of Paul; however, she has threatened to release tapes of McCartney supposedly proving that he was a drug and alcohol addict. So far, no tapes have surfaced.

In any event, McCartney has survived this long and winding road smelling like a rose with his reputation intact. He continues – as he approaches his 68th birthday – to play sold-out concerts all around the world and is still considered the most successful composer in music history. And it’s getting better all the time because now, on his arm, McCartney sports a new girl friend, socialite Nancy Shevell, a respected businesswoman who is vice president of a family-owned transportation conglomerate and a member of the board of the New York Metropolitan Transportation Authority. Although there have been rumors of a McCartney-Shevell wedding, it appears as if they’re just happy being with each other and there will be no more lonely nights for McCartney.

However, Nancy should beware – it’s not likely that there will be any sending of Christmas cards between herself and the jealous and arrogant Heather Mills in the near future. Let it be.

This image created for FreakingNews.com would make perfect Christmas cards for Julia Robert, since she is known in Hollywoodland for shielding her children from the media.

Julia Roberts is known in Hollywood for shielding her twins, Finn and Hazel, and son, Henry, from the paparazzi, which is why this image (created for FreakingNews.com) would make perfect Julia Roberts Christmas cards. Julia tries very hard to protect her children from any type of media exposure, and gets extremely angry when anyone tries to take their picture. She feels that the paparazzi are out of hand and that they shouldn’t take pictures of celebrities’ children. I fully agree, but unfortunately, that’s the price you pay for fame.

Julia Fiona Roberts was born in Atlanta October 28, 1967, to Betty and Walter Roberts. Her dream was to become a veterinarian, but after she graduated from Campbell High School, she left for New York and attended acting classes at Click Modeling Agency. One of Roberts’ first big-screen appearances was in Mystic Pizza in l988, but her big break was in Pretty Women in 1990. Today, Julia is one of the most sought-after talents in Hollywood.

Julia dated quit a few actors before she married Daniel Moder, a cameraman whom she met on the set of The Mexican. Julia and Danny let their family and friends know about her pregnancy in their Christmas cards, which read, “Love, Danny, Julia, Hazel, Phinnaeus and our little miracle.” It seems Julia lives for her children; Hazel and Phinnaeus are four-year-old twins and the little miracle, Henry, is now two.

Christmas time, it seems, is special for Julia Roberts. Every year she makes a batch of Christmas cookies with the help of her family, using the same recipe that was passed down to her. She once said, “It’s a good food holiday in our house. I always bake my special cookies, with a little help from my family, and top them off with this amazing icing.” She also said about her children, “They are just starting to figure out what Christmas is and why it’s special. They can’t wait to unwrap all their presents.”

Julia is also one of the many celebrities who purchased a Noble Fir Tree for Christmas. These trees are very expensive and run about $190.00 for an eight-footer. I guess money is no object when you’ve had the success that Julia Roberts has experienced in her career.

New Jersey gets a bad rap. It has been called the Armpit of America. It has been spoofed on sketch comedy shows for years. And now, we seem to be buying into the whole thing with a slew of reality television shows such as Jersey Shore, Jersey Couture, and Jerseylicious. Of course, there’s also Bravo’s The Real Housewives of New Jersey.

Perhaps the Real Housewives of New Jersey do send real Christmas cards...although something tells me Teresa Giudice won't be able to afford to do that this year.

First of all, “real” housewives? Are they serious? Real housewives keep house, raise their children, write out the family Christmas cards, and, especially in today’s world, they probably work hard inside and outside the home to make ends meet and keep the family functioning. The Real Housewives of New Jersey, on the other hand, serve on committees, keep plastic surgeons in business, flip tables when things get a little too “real,” and file for bankruptcy when they go into millions of dollars of debt (ahem…Teresa Giudice). And, if their name happens to be Danielle Staub, they stir up drama with their shady pasts including sex tapes and cocaine.

But that’s okay, because, according to Staub, she “brought attention” to New Jersey. Forget Sinatra, Nicholson, and oh, I dunno… Thomas Edison? New Jersey was just a blip on the map until this woman showed up, like a Christmas miracle. She and her frenemies are supposed to represent Springsteen’s New Jersey? If you believe that, I have a toll booth I’d like to sell you on the Garden State Parkway.

With a group of drama queens like this, I bet that if they can be bothered to send them, their Christmas cards are quite a thing to read. They may be very pretty but of little substance (like their senders), or they may be gaudy on the outside and full of phony wishes on the inside (like their senders). Either way, these hypothetical holiday tidings would be just as fake as the hair extensions and boob jobs that make The Real Housewives of New Jersey such a ratings hit.

Will Kate Gosselin's 2010 Christmas cards feature a photo of sexy (or rather, trampy?) mom from her DWTS days minus eight?

Kate Gosselin has become one of the most talked about moms in history. She has books and TV shows sprouting up all over the place, which leaves us to wonder when she has time for the kiddies that made her such a celebrity. Will she be sending out Kate Plus Eight Christmas cards this holiday season or will she be ditching the kids to show the glamour of her newly found fame? You decide.

Back in 2000 Kate and Jon Gosselin had fraternal twins, Cara Nicole and Madelyn (Mady) Kate. And then four years later they were blessed with sextuplets: Alexis Faith, Hannah Joy, Aaden Jonathan, Collin Thomas, Leah Hope, and Joel Kevin. The Gosselin family dynamic would forever change (and so would their Christmas cards!). The birth of the sextuplets was filmed for a Discovery Health special and followed by a second special when the sextuplets were one. The popularity from these two specials created the reality series Jon & Kate Plus 8. Hello! These were cute kids and we loved them.

At first we didn’t notice that Kate started getting bitchier or that Jon was getting quieter and the kids were no longer the main focus. And then it became evident that the show was more and more about Kate and the products and trips that were being promoted. The relatives and friends that were frequently on the show to help with the kids were no longer around, and Kate was all over the talk show circuit proclaiming how wonderful her kids were. And she knew this because she was what – watching them on TV? She sure wasn’t at home taking care of them. She did see them when the show was taping, but I didn’t notice a lot of hugging going on when the kids were featured more on spectacular vacations and less in their everyday lives. Greed for more and more perks had changed the show and our perception of the Gosselins forever. Their Christmas cards list seemed to shrink as friends and family who were in earlier shows were suddenly not around.

Smile...or not! A picture is worth a thousand words, and the looks on the Gosselin kids' faces says it all. Perhaps they knew it would be the last John and Kate plus Eight Christmas.

Kate moved her family into a million dollar-plus home where she was seen in one episode spending the “whole” day cleaning the refrigerator herself while presumably the kids were exploring. Puhleeze…a martyr she is not! She has expensive clothes, professional (but sorta ugly) haircuts, and demands first class accommodations along with her speaking fees, and this woman is cleaning a refrigerator?

This is a woman whose family Christmas cards became a thing of the past when Jon and Kate divorced in 2009. This is a woman who claims she is working for her kids, but their bedrooms are on the other side of the mansion from hers. Kate says that she is not after fame but trying to support her kids now that she is a single mother. That’s why she had a dance studio built in her home. That’s why she was on Dancing with the Stars (no gagging please), and that’s why she is all over the magazines and gossip papers without her children.

Guess what? Other mothers are raising their children without all the perks and promotions and do pretty well. Here’s a suggestion – sell the mansion, bank the money, and support the kids on the residuals from your books and television. You can then spend time with your children, or on second thought, they may actually be better off with you away.

Julio Iglesias' Christmas cards from 2008 featured his children from his most recent marriage, but what about Enrique? I guess he does his own thing from the holidays.

I did not know, but apparently Julio Iglesias’s Christmas cards are famous around the world. I guess his celebrity and fame has not really diminished in the last few years and I say this because I was surprised to see Iglesias’s 2008 Christmas cards online while looking for a particular song’s lyrics. This story goes on and on about Julio’s tarjetas de Navidad and how this year in particular he chose a photo card that included his younger kids – Miguel, Alejandro, Victor, Cristina, Guillermo, and the family pets. But odd enough, the holiday cards don’t feature any of his older somewhat famous stock – Enrique, Julio, or Chabeli.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m old enough to be a fan, but I really did not realize how Christmas, celebrity-hood, and a simple gesture as a holiday card can be so important in some circles. I’m glad to see that the spirit is alive and how even the more famous among us have a soft spot for Christmas and pictures of their own little ones.

Fortunately for me, at my age I don’t have little ones anymore to include in my Christmas cards, but I like the idea of my doggie Max taking center stage on my next cards. I admit Max is not much to look at, but we don’t bring looks up between pals…I might loose that contest anyway.

To capitalize on the former Miss Wasilla’s contentious appeal, a number of Christmas card companies and political websites have produced Sarah Palin Christmas cards, oftentimes with a humorous or mocking tone. Three such examples appear here.

In the Palin Christmas card to the right, a smiling Sarah crouches over the heart-shot carcass of a reindeer (presumably Rudolph, himself, if the shiny red nose is any indication). She is grasping a rifle and an infant dangles on her chest in a camouflage-pattern papoose carrier. The words “You betcha it’s Christmas!” appear below the photoshopped image. In an accompanying story on the Weekly World News website, it is sarcastically implied that the “beast” was actually a Russian-built spy-elk created in a lab to be used as a weapon against America. They further surmise that if Barack Obama had come upon this death-machine, he would have thrown down his weapon and conceded to unconditional negotiations with the enemy cyborg, thereby endangering America.

In another Sarah Palin Christmas card, a racier version of Palin again appears to have felled Santa’s lead reindeer. Above the exclamation “OOPS”, she appears in a short Christmas dress and black high-heel boots with her still-smoking rifle. In the background, before a range of snowy mountains, Santa and the rest of his sleigh-driving team look on in horror as one of the former Alaska governor’s famed hunting helicopters circles overhead.

In the following cartoon-style Palin Christmas card, a trio of Santa’s horned crew prepare for a night of mischief-making against their nemesis. Donning body-armor and Kevlar helmets, they are pictured filling a large sack with spray paint and toilet tissue. At the bottom of the Christmas card is the caption, “Santa’s reindeer prepare for a stop at Sarah Palin’s house.”

As far as I’m concerned, I don’t see how spending 2 ½ years as the governor of one of the nation’s most geographically-remote and least populous states (before quitting) makes one fit to be president. The lack of basic political and historical knowledge, which she has displayed in a series of interviews, would be comical if it were not so scary. But I suppose that the Palin-for-President debate will continue to rage for the foreseeable future – or at least for as long as the national media continues its bizarre Palin-centric ratings-inspired love affair.

We're not sure if Sally Field sends Christmas cards, but we do know she enjoys celebrating the holidays with her grandchildren.

She played a nun celebrating Christmas and directed the TV film The Christmas Tree, but I have found only one reference of Sally Field celebrating Christmas. In homespun tradition, she and her grandchildren celebrate with art projects. Apparently, Sally has buckets of materials that can be used for these art projects and gives her grandchildren gifts of art supplies for the holidays. I don’t know if she sends Christmas cards but we will return to that in a bit.

Sally arrived on TV in 1965 playing the lead role in Gidget. She followed this role by playing the lead in the TV series The Flying Nun from 1967 through 1970. Her high energy and feistiness of those years still show through today almost 40 years later. She appears most often today as spokesperson for Boniva, an osteoporosis medication. She was diagnosed with osteoporosis in 2005 and has since been on medication to control bone loss. She has become an advocate for bringing this serious, often overlooked disease that can lead to extreme pain and disability, mainly for women, into the public eye.

Early in her career an agent told her that she wasn’t a good enough actor for movies. She fired her agent and in her inimitable style proceeded to study acting at night at the Actor’s Studio, with the acting coach Lee Strasberg. Her movie career earned her two Oscars; one for Norma Rae, the other for Places in the Heart along with numerous other awards and nominations.

It took her a long time to prove that she could act in mature roles, because to this day, we still picture the young Sally; she seems to be ageless. Sally has proven her mettle over the years by undertaking roles such as Sybil in the movie of the same name. She also played the mother in Forest Gump. We are lucky that she had the confidence in herself to fire the agent and follow her instinct that she could play mature roles in movies.

Her personal life includes two unsuccessful marriages and a long-time relationship with Burt Reynolds. According to the tabloids, she rejected a number of marriage proposals by Burt Reynolds. She has three children from her marriages; Peter and Eli Craig from her marriage to Steven Craig and Samuel Greisman from her marriage to Alan Greisman. She has been reported as saying, “I’ve never had my heart broken, I think that’s very sad, that I haven’t allowed my heart to be broken. I have broken a few.” Currently her Malibu home is shared with her mother and two dogs.

Back to Sally Field sending as her Christmas cards. She keeps her religion private so I wouldn’t assume she would send a traditional Christmas card. She is an avid gardener, so maybe she would use a picture of a bougainvillea like the ones that grow at her Malibu home with a “Peace to All on Earth” sentiment. After all, she does live in sunny, warm California where most people wish for a white Christmas but rarely see one, and surely wishing peace to all would go along with her anti-war sentiments. Or perhaps she’d display a picture of her favorite tree, a gnarled oak, which also grows behind her home. This oak has suffered from age and was scorched by a California wildfire but still grows. She spoke fondly of the tree in a Ladies Home Journal interview: “This is my favorite tree. It’s been around a long time and as you can see it’s come into contact with some struggle and hard times over the years. But it’s still alive and still enjoying life.” The same can be said of Sally Field. She has survived a lot but is still the strong and saucy young woman that supposedly broke an actor’s ribs during the filming of Norma Rae. He was playing the cop that was carrying Norma Rae out of the factory during a protest. Truly getting into character, she kicked him so hard that she broke a rib. I hope she will be entertaining us for a long time to come.

What a Christmas cards photo-op! Proud mommy Jessica Alba posing with smiley daughter, Honor.

With it being her daughter’s first Christmas, I’m sure Jessica Alba went all out. I can picture it already – beautiful Christmas cards with her daughter in a cute little red dress with a fireplace burning in the background. The Christmas tree that she purchased along with her husband will more than likely be in the background view, elegantly decorated with a star on top.

Even with all the excitement in her personal life that didn’t stop Jessica from taking time to fit some charity work in this holiday season. Jessica is joining other A-list celebs in an effort to eradicate hunger in America. She is donating signed custom holiday photos to Netflix, who will be handing out Gift Boxes that will include Jessica’s photos along with some other generous gifts to anyone who donates $5,000 or more to the Feeding America campaign.

Despite being raised in a traditional Catholic family, Jessica has spoken publicly about leaving the Church because of being judged for her appearance as well as her roles she has played in the movies. Jessica also had objections to the lack of women role models in the Bible as well as the Church’s condemnations of homosexuality and premarital sex. But she still has a great belief in God.

Her roles as an actress have included leads in Sin City and Fantastic Four. My personal favorite is her TV role in Dark Angel, which aired from 2000 to 2002. And her role as an actress on the big screen has been getting better ever since, which I’m sure for her doesn’t even compare to her new role as a “mommy.” Jessica and Cash Warren tied the knot in May of 2007, just a couple of weeks before she gave birth to their daughter, Honor Marie Warren. Jessica has called Honor the “love of her life” so no doubt this Christmas will be just as special as the last with even more precious Christmas cards to create.

Short and smug Tom Cruise poses with wifey Katie Holmes. This photo would make for a nice Christmas card, except for the fact that they both look possessed by aliens, or maybe that's the Scientology speaking.

Tom Cruise sends Christmas cards? You would think because he belongs to the Church of Scientology that he would not send Christmas cards, but apparently believing that you are descended from aliens does not preclude you from celebrating Christmas. Tom actually was a practicing Roman Catholic and contemplated being a priest, which may have aided his decision to continue giving Christmas cards and presents after he changed religions creating an anchor to his childhood.

The issue of Christmas cards may be a touchy subject since the media made so many comments on the “doily” Christmas card he sent in 2007. However, Katie Holmes did design a more tasteful card that was sent to friends and family. There were no pictures of Tom or the kids on any cards that made it into the gossip sheets, but who knows if his famous face adorned a Christmas card sent to select people. With all the millions he has made he certainly can afford to send quite a few cards. Somehow I can’t imagine Tom passing up a chance to smile for the camera. Okay, he may be a good actor (sometimes) or pick good action pictures to boost his popularity, but here’s a reality check – he’s very short and he smiles too much. While there is no denying that Tom is easy on the eyes, he comes across as smug and insincere in just about every picture I’ve ever seen. Sorry, just can’t join the fan club. Not too worry, Tom…there are plenty of adoring people who just love a pretty face.

A Christmas card from Tom Cruise may be a treat to many people. Personally I think Tom is getting a little preachy about Scientology and I don’t really feel up to worshipping aliens, or for that matter, Tom Cruise at this time. So Tom, if you are in communication with the aliens, tell them to take me off the Christmas card list.