On her E! evening show, Chelsea Lately, Chelsea Handler featured a Christmas card to Santa written by one of her friend's sons.

For those of us that celebrate Christmas we often send Christmas cards featuring the jolly iconic images of Saint Nicholas. Santa Claus, the gift giver idolized by children around the world, sets up his sleigh and reindeer every Christmas Eve to bring gifts to all the good girls and boys. The children leave out cookies and milk for their gift toting hero and carrots for the reindeer are placed by the decorated Christmas tree in hopes that Santa will arrive with that one (or many gifts) their heart desires.

Santa Claus has a power over the children of the world that matches no other. This power is harnessed by the parents of the world to ensure good behavior from their children for at least six months out of the year. Parents constantly warn their kids that Santa Claus and his elves are watching them and everything they do. After making his list and checking it twice he would know if they had been naughty or nice. Not wanting a stocking full of coal to arrive Christmas morning, the children will usually gradually modify their behavior towards the nicer side as the season of sending Christmas cards and gift giving is set to begin.

Chelsea Handler, the popular host of the E! evening talk show Chelsea Lately featured a Christmas card to Santa written by an acquaintance’s child on an episode airing just prior to the Christmas season. The letter read:

“Dear Santa,
I am totally frecked out by you watching me Santa. Stop watching me Santa. please.
Love, Ryan.
PS I want Speed Racer. Thank You”

Chelsea spoke of what the parents’ warnings about Santa Claus can do to a child. As an adult, most people would be filing a restraining order if we knew someone and their gang of helpers was watching our every move to see if we were naughty or nice. We certainly wouldn’t be leaving out treats in anticipation of their arrival. Not wanting to completely alienate Santa and his elves, Ryan politely asks Santa Claus to stop stalking him while still including his gift of choice in the letter. Chelsea Handler has truly provided a public service to the parents of the world. Buying a Speed Racer at the local toy store and signing the Christmas card “Mom and Dad” will certainly save monumental therapy costs for these parents and their children later in life.

In addition to hosting a late night talk show, Chelsea Handler has performed nationwide as a stand-up comedian and appeared as a regular on the Oxygen Network series, Girls Behaving Badly. On April 15, 2009, Handler won the 2009 Bravo A-List Award for “A-List Funny.” Chelsea Handler has also written two books that both appeared on the New York Times Best Seller List. The first, a memoir, is titled My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One Night Stands, and the second a collection of humorous essays entitled Are Your There, Vodka? It’s Me Chelsea.

Isn't that cute? Heidi Montag (sans new nose) and hubby Spencer Pratt volunteered at the Los Angeles Mission last holiday season. This photo would make for the perfect Christmas cards from this skin-deep couple.

So what is this obsession the attention-loving “actress” Heidi Montag has with her face? Supposedly, she has gone under the knife twice – the second time having had 10 plastic surgery procedures in one day!! Is she trying to look as good as possible for her and husband Spencer Pratt’s photo Christmas cards next year? What’s going on here? No male whose eyes can still focus would honestly think that her face needed any tampering – especially at the age of 23. It is pretty obvious that she is very insecure, reportedly having had rhinoplasty, breast augmentation, and collagen lip injections three years ago.

So why the lack of confidence? Is it because deep down she feels she’s talentless? Is the only way she can become a success in life to flaunt her physical attributes? Perhaps. Her foray into the music business several years ago was certainly not a success. Although she worked with successful producer David Foster, his magic did not work in her case, as her debut album, Superficial – which cost upwards over two million dollars to produce – sold a measly 1,000 copies its first week of release and has sold maybe 7,000 units in total. Not an auspicious debut by any means!

So what does this young woman look forward to? More plastic surgery? “Possibly,” she says. A well-known plastic surgeon basically feels women who say they absolutely must have more and more of these types of procedures often need counseling. Getting a stormy relationship back on track or securing a part in a TV show or movie is not a good reason for having plastic surgery.

Whether her priorities are a bit mixed up or not, this doesn’t necessarily mean she is not a good person. A few years ago, she and Spencer’s Christmas cards may have included a photo from their Christmas Eve visit to the Los Angeles Mission, where they helped serve food to the needy and handed out Christmas presents to children. Now that is what is important – not nose jobs and fake breasts!

This past holiday season, Johnny Depp was spotted buying Christmas gifts with director pal Tim Burton in London.

Johnny Depp, the quirky actor and star of many offbeat character movies, spent this past holiday season in a rather mundane way. He was spotted Christmas shopping with his friend and director, Tim Burton, at London’s Forbidden Planet, a store that specializes in movie memorabilia and toys. He had in hand several items for purchase: a Betty Boop doll, Simpson figures, and what appears to be a wooden marionette – but not a single box of Christmas cards (perhaps that is his girlfriend’s job)! Tim Burton has been the director of many Johnny Depp movies over the years. Each man is a father of young children; therefore Christmas shopping is probably expected of them both.

Johnny Depp is dressed in rather drab attire for the season, apparently trying to appear incognito to avoid the usual paparazzi and fans. Dressed in jeans, denim jacket, tweed overcoat, sunglasses, and a hat, Johnny appears rather nondescript and unenthusiastic as he goes about his holiday shopping task. He was interviewed about his Christmas plans which were equally ordinary, spending time with his two children and longtime girlfriend while waiting for Santa Claus to arrive. One can only speculate that like every other family at this time of year, the Depps spend time decorating a tree, wrapping Christmas presents, writing out Christmas cards and perhaps even baking Christmas cookies!

Compare this holiday scene to the Christmas happenings of Johnny Depp’s character, Edward Scissorhands. Edward is the invention of an eccentric elderly inventor played by Vincent Price. Edward is a young man with a very odd appearance, most notably his hands which consist of many sharp blades resembling scissors. His dark leather attire, wildly askew hairdo, and scarred face conceal a very naïve and sensitive being. To further condense the story line, he is befriended by a wacky Avon lady whose daughter falls in love with him (who wouldn’t?). After some problems with the police and other individuals in town, his newfound family decides to have a Christmas party to smooth things over in the neighborhood.

The family house is decorated with colored lights, and a neon display reads “Happy Holidays” upon the roof. As mother and daughter decorate an artificial white tree, circa 1960s, with ornaments and bells, Edward Scissorhands is on the front lawn doing what he does best – carving topiaries. He is making an impressive angel ice sculpture and the ice shavings are floating and swirling throughout the night air. In a region that never gets snow, it is a magnificent sight to behold when the daughter comes outside and dances amongst the ice crystals in a scene that warms the holiday heart. It is here that the viewer gets a glimpse of why Edward has such horrific, inhuman hands. In a flashback, Edward is seen receiving a red wrapped Christmas present from his creator. The box contains two human-like hands that will never be a part of Edward; his creator falls to the floor, a victim of an apparent heart attack. The perfect Christmas gift of having life-like hands is lost forever.

The reality of Johnny Depp’s everyday life during the Christmas season is probably much more exciting than it appears. But the magical life and unfortunately, ruined Christmas of Edward Scissorhands, is far more enchanting than anything a human being could possibly hope for. Merry Christmas, Johnny and Edward! You are still loved by all!

The perfect Christmas cards...Marcia Cross posing with hubby Tom, twin daughters Eden and Savannah, and of course, Santa.

Of course being a true Melrose Place fan, whenever I see Marcia Cross I think of her character as the evil Dr. Kimberly Shaw, someone who I cannot see sending out cute Christmas cards with a photo of her beautiful daughters on the cover! So when I was looking through a magazine and came across a photo featuring Marcia, her husband, and her daughters Eden and Savannah taking pictures with Santa, it was quite impressive.

I love the fact that she isn’t like most other celebrities that dress the kids all in red with an equally red-dressed mommy and daddy. I love that she kept it simple…some pictures with Santa with the girls in cute little dresses, and she is dressed very casual. When I receive Christmas cards, I don’t want to see a picture that looks like it has a big blob of red in the middle! So good for her for keeping it simple and not going over the top!

Marcia is currently starring as Bree Hodge on Desperate Housewives and is also the new face of Mott’s Applesauce. She is also an Emmy and Golden Globe nominated actress. As for her home life, she had only been dating stock broker, Tom Mahoney, for six months when she accepted his marriage proposal. Their wedding was in June 2006 and later that year in September, they announced that they were expecting twins due to arrive in April. In January she was placed on precautionary bed rest until the birth of her twins, therefore suspending her acting duties on Desperate Housewives. But with great determination, Marcia asked for the entire cast and crew to shoot at her house – some scenes were shot right in her very own bedroom! If Marcia puts the same amount of dedication into her Christmas cards for next year, I’m sure they will be spectacular!

The perfect picture for Matthew McConaughy’s Christmas cards…featuring girlfriend Camila Alves and himself with son Levi in tow at the Grand Canyon.

Picture Matthew McConaughey’s Christmas cards…Matt, Camila, Levi, and BJ (the dog) hanging 10 on a surfboard in the Malibu waves. Okay, maybe Levi is a little young to be hanging 10 and I don’t know if dogs really have 10 toes that they can hang with but that would be a great card. Although, this picture borrowed from Matthew McConaughey’s Official Website would also be a great photo for their family Christmas cards.

TMZ has been focusing on Matthew McConaughy and his dog walking habits lately. I must admit some are pretty weird, especially when he rides a motor cycle with BJ racing behind him. McConaughy seems to be a free spirit. His motto is “Just Keep Living,” which is also the name of his foundation, j.k. livin, that he started to help teenage kids lead healthy lifestyles. Growing up in Texas probably contributed to his desire to walk a dog without a leash. I am sure it is a bit alien to him. I grew up in New York City and always felt that my dog should be running free and not attached to me with a leash. But there are laws governing that. I really don’t think that he considers it cruelty but it could be a little dangerous because he now lives in California, where drivers aren’t as wary of animals as in Texas. He probably should let BJ run free when he retreats to his 1,600 acre Texas ranch and keep her on the leash in Malibu.

Matt really seems to love animals. He helped to rescue various pets including cats, dogs, and hamsters after Hurricane Katrina. That doesn’t sound like someone who doesn’t care for animals. He also rescued a cat from a group of boys that had doused it with hairspray and was attempting to set it on fire. He may not really be too enamored with crocodiles, however. I understand that he was attacked by a croc in an isolated area in Morocco while filming a movie.

Back to Christmas…I don’t know what he buys for Camila and Levi but he gave his family headlamps for Christmas one year. He had given them electric toothbrushes the previous year. He doesn’t seem to put much thought into individual Christmas gifts. He did put thought into where he would spend Christmas one year. He visited the family in Australia that he had lived with when he was an exchange student. He hadn’t seen them in 19 years, so I am sure that they were thrilled to see him again.

Matt’s current film is a romantic comedy parodied after Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol. He is a miser like Scrooge but he is stingy in the love department. He is visited by the “ghosts of girlfriends past” (which also happens to be the title of the movie). I am not too sure whether I will fork over the bucks to see the film. I may wait for the DVD as some critics are suggesting.

Christmas cards from the Jonas Brothers have all the pre-teenage girls going goo goo for the crooning trio – Kevin, Joe, and Nick.

As I walked passed by my daughter’s room the other day I noticed a Christmas card from the Jonas Brothers hanging in the corner of her dresser mirror. My daughter is crazy about the Jonas Brothers, and as a member of their fan club, she received the celebrity Christmas card during this past holiday season. For anybody out there who doesn’t have a pre-teenage girl, the Jonas Brothers are the newest heartthrobs of the music world. They remind me of when I was her age and Andy Gibb was all the rage.

There are three Jonas Brothers in the band – Kevin is the oldest at 21, Joe is next at 18, and then there is Nick. Nick Jonas seems to be all the girls’ favorite brother. I guess maybe because he is the closest in age to the “tween” set at 16. Nick Jonas has also been a great inspiration to millions of Type 1 diabetic children. Nick was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes in 2005 at the age of 14. It is particularly inspirational to me; my son was also diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes two years ago at the age of 8. Nick Jonas is living proof that this disease does not have to keep you from pursuing your aspirations or goals.

As a parent of a pre-teen girl, I am always concerned about the music she is listening to. It used to be you only had to worry about what they were watching on TV, but now you have to worry about what they are listening to on their iPods. Song lyrics have gotten very suggestive over the years, and as a mom, I am thankful for groups like the Jonas Brothers. I got to know the lyrics of their songs – word for word – as my daughter sings them aloud everyday! One of her Christmas gifts was their newest album. I have to admit, after hearing them over and over again, I find my self sing them from time to time. I hope she keeps their Christmas card hanging on her mirror for a while; I shutter to think who else’s Christmas cards will be hanging on that same mirror in a few years from now.

When Alec Baldwin was a regular on SNL, he performed a memorable Christmas cards-themed skit.

Alec Baldwin is a talented actor who did some great movies and is currently on the television show 30 Rock. He often appears on Saturday Night Live, and one of his more memorable skits was from episode 11 on season 21 of the show. Baldwin appears with a Santa hat saying he forgot to send out his Christmas cards and he would like the following to serve as his Christmas card this year. He then reads a very funny ultra-generic letter that is a spoof on every thing that is personalized in Christmas cards. It makes you wonder what his own celebrity holiday cards look like.

Well this year Alec Baldwin may be sending out holiday cards with his daughter’s name included once again. Apparently their rift of a year ago has been healed. You remember when he cursed on the phone at his then 11 year old daughter? You remember where he had derogatory words to relay in his lengthy tirade about his ex-wife and Ireland’s mother, Kim Bassinger? You remember where he called his daughter a little pig? If 2007 celebrity holiday cards from Alec Baldwin were sans his daughter’s name, then this year all should be happy in the Baldwin clan.

The marriage of Alec Baldwin to Kim Bassinger started out with such promise. They made such a great couple and didn’t they just look perfect together. They were blessed with the addition of a little girl and you would think they had it all. Unfortunately, the perfect world was replaced with a viciousness that has spilled over into their parenting. Can you imagine what its like for a little girl to grow up with two famous parents without the added burden of having everything concerning you in the headlines? Alec with his message that turned into a tirade and Kim, who it is obvious, was the only person capable of leaking the recording to the press. Perhaps, Ireland Baldwin would prefer to have her own holiday cards without either parent being included.

A lover of animals, Bonnie Hunt recently featured adorable pet-friendly Christmas cards on her daytime talk show on NBC.

Bonnie Hunt has a new daytime talk show on NBC, which airs on the East Coast at 2pm. She seems to be a very sincere and caring person. Bonnie, a very family orientated person, has a segment every week that is called “Ask Alice.” Alice is Bonnie’s mother and she gives advice on the show. You can tell that Bonnie gets her love for family and her sense of humor from her mother. Bonnie always discusses growing up in Chicago in a family of six. She has had two of her brothers as guests on the show.

During one of Bonnie’s previous segments, she asked her viewers to send in Christmas cards. One of her viewers sent in Christmas photo cards, which has got to be the cutest holiday card I have ever seen. It featured a little black Chihuahua with a green elf’s hat and a candy cane in his mouth – an image that could capture anyone’s heart. The puppy had a guilty look because he stole the candy cane. The snowman behind him was almost as big as the puppy. Even if you are not a dog lover, you have to admit that this makes an adorable Christmas card.

Bonnie Hunt seems to be such an animal lover, that this theme would make a great holiday card for her. She could dress up her golden lab, Charlie, and have a photo Christmas card made. There is not a week on the show that she does not have on something that pertains to animals. She could also go in another direction for a special Christmas card and have a photo card made of Brian Williams in an elf hat. Anyone who watches Bonnie Hunt knows that she has a mad crush on Brian Williams.

Bonnie Hunt started out as a nurse, but always dreamed about becoming a talk show host. She has also done quite a few movies. Although Bonnie has never had children, she played the Alice Newton in Beethoven, a very funny movie about a St. Bernard and of course Kate Baker in all three Cheaper by the Dozen movies co-starring Steve Martin. Bonnie has been quite the busy bee!

A spoof of Mel Gibson's Christmas cards, which should really be apology cards for his reprehensible and irrational behavior in recent years.

This celebrity Christmas card depicts a somber Mel Gibson in front of a festive Christmas tree. He is holding a gaily-decorated gift that prominently displays his feelings of remorse. Mel’s still handsome face has some indication of his aging quickly from a little too much stress or, dare I say, alcohol use. The recipient of this Christmas card can surely fill in their own opinion as to what Mel is sorry for.

Mel Gibson born in Peekskill, New York on January 3rd, 1956, the sixth of 11 children, moved to Australia when he was 12. His father, a staunch Roman Catholic, moved the family so his boys would not have to go to Vietnam. His father held strong beliefs concerning his religion. When Mel did the The Passion of the Christ movie, it caused a great deal of controversy concerning its treatment of the Jews. His father, Hutton, had made some anti-Semitic remarks that were widely publicized. Mel Gibson claimed that his father’s opinions were not his own and that he was guided by the Holy Spirit while making the movie. That begs the question, “Where was the Holy Spirit when you were arrested for drunk driving and making anti-Semitic remarks?” Is it possible that Mel was apologizing for the anti-Semitism in this Christmas card?

Mel Gibson married his wife, Robin, in 1980 and they have seven children together. It recently came out that they were now getting a divorce. A devout Catholic who built his own church so the mass would be said in Latin, is getting a divorce?!? Pray tell, Mel, what has happened to Mad Max and his moral center? Have you gone off the deep end? Perhaps this Celebrity Christmas card is to apologize to your wife for your “Celebrity” behavior.

Although this farcical Christmas card will not actually be sent by Mel Gibson, maybe it should be. A talented and successful actor, Mel Gibson seems to have gotten off track somehow. Perhaps he learned the wrong lessons at his father’s knee and should go back to his Catholic training and ask the Holy Spirit to guide him to the true meaning of Christianity.

Robert Pattinson, star of the vampire saga “Twilight” and “Noon Moon,” has brought a different meaning to the color red this Christmas season.

This past holiday season was over-saturated with all things Twilight, due in large part to the release and success of the film adaptation of the first novel in Stephenie Meyer’s insanely popular teen vampire saga. Nonetheless, if I had a reason to correspond with the movie’s star vamp, Robert Pattinson, I’d be conflicted as to whether I should send Christmas cards or condolence cards.

Twilight is the, ahem, love story of 104-year old vampire, Edward Cullen, and 17-year old high school girl, Bella Swan. The story, which apparently came to Meyer in a dream, has been deemed “the next Harry Potter” by some. Do you hear that? It’s the sound of a million J.K. Rowling fans hissing.

In my opinion, Twilight has nothing in common with the far superior Potter series – except Pattinson, who portrays tragic figure Cedric Diggory in the fourth Potter film, The Goblet of Fire. If we are to believe anything we read in the press, he had no idea what he was getting himself into when he signed on to play the lion that falls in love with the lamb (Excuse me while I gag!). As a result of the staggering fame he has fallen into, everything from the length of his hair to his showering habits (or lack of them) is dissected in gossip magazines around the world. Fans are selling badly-Photoshopped Christmas cards featuring the brooding actor in a Santa hat, and paparazzi are stalking the poor guy en route to the airport to fly home for the holidays! If we are to believe him, he just wants to be a musician – but he can’t even sing at bars anymore because he’ll be recognized. He consoles himself by saying the most smart-alecky things he can think of in interviews – including calling Stephenie Meyer mad and accusing her of being convinced that she is Bella Swan. Once you’ve read the books, you see that he’s probably right, and you can’t help but like the guy.

Book stores and teen hotspots succumbed to vampire mania for the Christmas season, with displays and merchandise available for all who wished to have the sparkly-est of holidays. Several months have passed, however, and Pattinson and the rest of the cast are already hard at work on the sequel to Twilight, New Moon. Recognizing a cash cow when they see one, the film company behind the series is cranking the movies out as quickly as they can, lest their teenage audience age beyond caring. While the quality of these films is questionable, one thing is for sure – the cast, as well as Stephenie Meyer, can count on at least a couple more of the most prosperous Christmases they could ever wish for. I’m pretty sure that Summit Entertainment will send a nice bonus in Pattinson’s next Christmas card, smart-aleck remarks and all!