The Future Christmas Cards of Brangelina and Brood
Wednesday, March 4th, 2009 by darzeo
Christmas cards from Brangelina and family several years down the road
A few years ago, Tom Umbarger gave us a glimpse into the Christmas of the Jolie-Pitts’ future. Hard to believe that just four years ago, there were only two Jolie-Pitt kids. In Umbarger’s imagined Christmas cards for the royal celebrity family, Maddox is still rocking the punk look he cultivated in preschool…and wearing a Team Aniston shirt to boot! (It’s bad enough we’re still talking about this in 2009. I certainly hope we’re not still choosing sides at the end of next decade!) Zahara, or Zee, as she’s known to tabloid blogs around the Internet, appears as a diva with her diamond “Z” pendant and matching earrings. What the artist imagines for mom and dad can only be described as a “Curious Case of Balding and Botox.” Brad is wearing a horrible Christmas ensemble and holding a prop from his role in True Romance (for those who aren’t familiar with the movie, he was not using that honey bear for his addiction to tea). Angelina appears to be wielding a scalpel, which, when presented with the marks under her eyes, can only suggest self-performed plastic surgery.
One can only guess what the Christmas cards Umbarger would create with an updated family snapshot. Would Pax, Shiloh, Vivienne and Knox fare any better than their brother and sister? Would Brad have discovered hair plugs? Would Angie have decided to age gracefully? Fortunately, this satirical look at the Brangelina brood is far from reality. Brad and Angelina were both nominated for Golden Globes this year, and continue their work as social activists around the globe. We can only hope that their kids will be as concerned about these issues as they are.
Tags: Angelina Jolie, Brand Pitt, Brangelina, Christmas cards, Maddox, Zahara
March 4th, 2009 at 5:40 pm
This is just frightening! Brangelina needs to know when to say “when”. btw – Your blog is very entertaining!
August 12th, 2009 at 6:28 pm
Will it never end! I’m so tired of hearing about their breakups, their adoptions, their pregnancies, their movies, their everything. Since people just can’t seem to get enough of them even when they are doing good for others it just seems to be more hype than anything else. This Christmas card is a little scary and I’m sure that the Brangelinas would choose a design representing a charity that was near and dear to them.
November 13th, 2009 at 9:10 pm
I hope this card is so far from what really lies ahead for this family. I’m not at all a fan of Angelina but I do hope for the kids’ sake that she is a good mother and role model for them. As for Brad, I just don’t think that he would allow himself to reveal a flaw – such as losing hair.. With all his money I would think he could afford to pay for a full head of hair! As a Jen fan – I loved the Team Aniston shirt that Maddox is shown wearing in this spoof card. Couldn’t ask for a funnier Christmas card.
December 30th, 2009 at 9:45 pm
each blog that i find, I get an idea. Every insight that i get, i find information that could motivate one’s life. so I thank u that this post is a part of it.