Archive for June, 2010

Tom Cruise-ing with Aliens on Christmas

Wednesday, June 30th, 2010 by dalaga
Christmas Cards from Tom Cruise

Short and smug Tom Cruise poses with wifey Katie Holmes. This photo would make for a nice Christmas card, except for the fact that they both look possessed by aliens, or maybe that's the Scientology speaking.

Tom Cruise sends Christmas cards? You would think because he belongs to the Church of Scientology that he would not send Christmas cards, but apparently believing that you are descended from aliens does not preclude you from celebrating Christmas. Tom actually was a practicing Roman Catholic and contemplated being a priest, which may have aided his decision to continue giving Christmas cards and presents after he changed religions creating an anchor to his childhood.

The issue of Christmas cards may be a touchy subject since the media made so many comments on the “doily” Christmas card he sent in 2007. However, Katie Holmes did design a more tasteful card that was sent to friends and family. There were no pictures of Tom or the kids on any cards that made it into the gossip sheets, but who knows if his famous face adorned a Christmas card sent to select people. With all the millions he has made he certainly can afford to send quite a few cards. Somehow I can’t imagine Tom passing up a chance to smile for the camera. Okay, he may be a good actor (sometimes) or pick good action pictures to boost his popularity, but here’s a reality check – he’s very short and he smiles too much. While there is no denying that Tom is easy on the eyes, he comes across as smug and insincere in just about every picture I’ve ever seen. Sorry, just can’t join the fan club. Not too worry, Tom…there are plenty of adoring people who just love a pretty face.

A Christmas card from Tom Cruise may be a treat to many people. Personally I think Tom is getting a little preachy about Scientology and I don’t really feel up to worshipping aliens, or for that matter, Tom Cruise at this time. So Tom, if you are in communication with the aliens, tell them to take me off the Christmas card list.

A not so Merry Christmas from the Jersey Shore Crew

Wednesday, June 23rd, 2010 by jenpac
Christmas cards from the cast of MTV's Jersey Shore

This could be the cover for the cast of MTV's Jersey Shore's Christmas cards...the only thing missing is the fist that punched Snooki. From left to right (standing): Ronnie, Vinny, Sammi "Sweetheart," Snooki, and DJ Pauly D; (kneeling): J-Woww and Mike "The Situation."

I’m hoping to one day see Christmas cards from MTV’s Jersey Shore cast with a freeze frame shot of Snooki getting punched in the face! I would love to see that hanging on my wall. For each year, that is one Christmas card that I would be sure to re-hang for everyone to see. I might even frame it!

I envision that Christmas card to be framed with little red stockings all around it. And right in the center a nice close up of the punch…with that ugly poof on her head finally out of place! Sorry if I’m a bit harsh but I can not stand the arrogance this girl displays. I’d think most people would agree, and unfortunately, the rest of the cast wasn’t much better.

Where do I start? Hmmm…well let me say the one thing that really gets to me about this group of hooligans – ONLY ONE CAST MEMBER IS ACTUALLY FROM JERSEY! Why again are these people pretending to actually visit the Jersey shore?! I really doubt half of them have even been to the Jersey shore more than once before filming. If you are going to make a reality TV show about the Jersey shore, shouldn’t you film people who actually live in the state?!

For those who never saw the show and actually care to know what it was about…it’s a reality show that placed eight people in a house at the Jersey shore and then followed them around. Pretty much the only rule was that they had to show up for work at a t-shirt shop when they were scheduled. If you did not show up for work, you would be removed from the house immediately. The cast consisted of Angelina, J-Woww, Mike “The Situation,” Snooki, DJ Pauly D, Ronnie, Sammi “Sweetheart,” and Vinny. You can tell by their names they are just one of a kind.

At the end of the day, I really don’t think anyone wants Christmas cards with a photo of the entire cast handing from their mantle. Who really wants to see another muscle baring shirtless photo of “The Situation” for the 100th time? So I think a picture of Snooki’s punch to the face is the best choice.

A Betty White Christmas

Wednesday, June 16th, 2010 by darzeo
Betty White Christmas cards

This photo would make the perfect Christmas cards for Betty White. It was taken last holiday season at the Eukanuba/AKC Dog Show, where she accepted a check to fund research for canine cancer.

Betty White has been in show biz for over 60 years! Do you think she has an assistant to handle the annual sending of her Christmas cards? Just think of the length of the list of people she sends celebrity holiday cards to.

Betty is well known for her role as Sue Ann Nivens on The Mary Tyler Moore Show. While she stopped playing that role by the time I was born, I remember watching The Golden Girls as a kid and loving her as Rose Nylund. There was nothing like watching Bea Arthur’s Dorothy give Rose the stink eye – and a snarky remark – after yet another anecdote about her days in St. Olaf. I still laugh at the reruns and sing along with the theme song.

It’s no wonder that Betty has won six Emmy awards – and been nominated for 18! Earlier this year, she won a Lifetime Achievement Award from the Screen Actors Guild – which was easily the funniest award skit of the night as she made fun of The Proposal co-star Sandra Bullock and hinted at “having” a couple of peers in the audience. Whoa, Betty!

Because Betty White transcends generations and is probably a lot funnier than most younger actors today, it was a bit shocking to realize she’d never hosted Saturday Night Live. Thanks to some determined fans on Facebook, that changed in May, when everyone’s favorite octogenarian hosted and gave the show its highest ratings since Sarah Palin’s appearance before the 2008 presidential election! Something tells me Lorne Michaels should be updating his Christmas cards list… as should Valerie Bertinelli, who will soon be co-starring with Betty in a new sitcom called Hot in Cleveland. Do I smell a hit?

Aside from her many show biz accomplishments, Betty is also well-known for her love of animals. Interested in animal health and welfare, she has long been affiliated with organizations such as the Morris Animal Foundation and the Los Angeles Zoo. But don’t call her an animal activist. In a recent press conference, she explained that she has no interest in politics or demonstrations when it comes to helping her furry friends. Maybe those crazy PETA people should send Betty a Christmas card, too!

Last Christmas, when tabloid website TMZ caught up with Betty and asked her what she wanted for Christmas, she told them – Robert Redford. This is an ongoing answer to any number of similarly-posed questions, although Betty has never met the man and has said she’d be embarrassed if she did! I think he owes her a Christmas card, don’t you? Perhaps he is in fact dreaming of a White Christmas himself. Could a Redford-White pairing be next? You never know…

Michael Jackson’s First Christmas Starts a Tradition for his Family

Thursday, June 10th, 2010 by darzeo
The Jackson 5 Christmas Album

Despite recording Christmas albums, Michael Jackson and his siblings were raised in the Jehovah Witness faith, and so their Christmas celebrations stopped in the recording studio.

The entertainment world lost one of its most talented, eccentric, controversial, and enigmatic stars last summer when Michael Jackson died in what has been deemed a homicide by the LAPD. The surprising loss of one of pop’s true superstars made the world take notice, as Michael’s music as a solo artist and with his brothers came back into high demand and the film This Is It became the highest grossing concert film of all time as the holiday season began.

The ride to super-stardom started very early for Michael, who joined his brothers in The Jackson 5 at only five years old. Worked hard (some say exceedingly so) by their father Joseph, the boys found themselves signed to Motown and adored by millions, but at the expense of their childhoods. While other children were playing ball, the brothers were recording albums, including 1970’s The Jackson 5 Christmas Album.

But don’t think that just because they were recording holiday music, they were sending out Christmas cards to their friends or fans. Raised in the Jehovah Witness faith, Michael and his eight brothers and sisters did not celebrate holidays like birthdays and Christmas. It was only as an adult – aged 35, in fact – that Michael experienced the joys of Christmas, thanks to his dear friend Dame Elizabeth Taylor. Liz had Michael’s living room decorated with a Christmas tree, presents and lights (and perhaps some Christmas cards on the mantle?), so that when he woke up that morning, he would have a true holiday fairytale. They spent the day opening presents and playing with Super Soaker squirt guns, a favorite toy of the man who was always looking for his childhood as an adult.

Michael Jackson and best friend Elizabeth Taylor

Michael Jackson's best friend, Elizabeth Taylor, was one of the first people who brougt the tradition of celebrating Christmas into his life.

When he finally realized his dream of becoming a father, Michael made sure to celebrate the holidays he missed as a kid with his daughter and two sons. For this reason, six months to the day of Michael’s death, the Jackson family is believed to have put its religious traditions aside in order to give Prince, Paris, and Blanket as normal a Christmas as possible, carrying on the wishes of their father.

There is a lot to be learned from the amazing and often tragic life of Michael Jackson. Perhaps the most important lesson is that children need to be given the opportunity to be children. If this current generation of Jackson kids gets that chance in light of what happened to the King of Pop, perhaps that will be their greatest gift of all.

Sarah Jessica Parker’s Christmas Cards Dilemma

Wednesday, June 2nd, 2010 by gercam
Christmas cards from Sarah Jessica Parker and the Sex and the City gals

Forget Matthew, Sarah Jessica Parker should just send Chrismtas cards from her and her gal friends...and of course I'm referring to Samantha, Miranda, and Charlotte.

What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the name, Sarah Jessica Parker? I’ll bet it’s not Christmas cards, but maybe it should be! I know, you probably think I’m crazy, since that’s not even close to what you were thinking. You were probably thinking about her flowing mane of gorgeous blonde hair or her stunning designer gowns which showcase SJP’s nearly perfect figure (and which earned her the Fashionista label). Maybe you think of her fabulous and enormously successful HBO dramedy, Sex and the City, or the equally fabulous and successful SATC movie and recently released sequel. Perhaps you think of her marriage to actor Matthew Broderick which resulted in their adorable six year old son, James Wilkie and their recently born twins.

From all outward appearances, it would seem that SJP lives a perfectly wonderful, glamorous, stress-free life. Ah, but just a minute please. Appearances can be deceiving, and if you think not, you would be wrong, so wrong! While Sarah Jessica does seem to have it all and do it all with ease, style and panache, there are two little words that may just cause our girl to lose her cool. What are these two little words, you ask. Well, I’m about to tell you and believe me, you will be surprised, if not downright shocked (and no, it’s not Mr. Big)! The two little words are “Christmas cards.” I know, who wouldda thunk? But it might possibly be the one thing SJP loses the most sleep over come Christmas time. Let me explain.

For all his wonderful qualities, Sarah Jessica’s hubby, Matthew, is not exactly Mr. Christmas spirit. Early each December, as soon as the first Christmas cards arrive at the Broderick-Parker home, Matthew supposedly starts freaking out about Christmas. He believes that it’s just a lot of work. I suppose if it were up to him, he would just skip the whole thing. Therein is SJP’S dilemma. Even though she is half Jewish and considers herself “culturally Jewish,” her large blended family of step and half-siblings are not Jewish. They absolutely love Christmas and really enjoy holiday get-togethers. They love to celebrate with festive food and family-centric Christmas traditions and so does Sarah Jessica. It must be tough for her to get in the spirit with “Scrooge” as her partner. And so we see her dilemma. On the one hand, she loves hubby and wants him to be happy. On the other hand, she loves her family and all the Christmas festivities. She also probably doesn’t want their son to miss out on all the fun. So what’s a girl to do? I’ll tell you exactly what she should do.

This year she should re-think her handling of the holiday season. Early in December, when SJP and family receive their first Christmas cards in the mail, Sarah Jessica should nip the problem in the bud before hubby has a chance to start his whining. SJP could make it easy on herself by telling her hubby that she’ll promise to tone down the celebrating this Christmas. She should say that she’ll keep it simple…just send really nice celebrity Christmas cards to all their friends and family and be done with it. Or not! Why, after all, should she give in to his bah humbug attitude? Carrie Bradshaw would never do that! Maybe she should just send hubby on an extended vacation during the holiday season! That way they could both enjoy themselves! Merry Christmas, SJP! Relax, kick back and enjoy. By the way, did you get my Christmas card yet?