2004 Christmas cards depicting happily married Britney Spears and K-Fed, the good times before Britney went crazy and Kevin got fat.

Drama, drama, drama!!! That’s the first thing that comes to mind when you mention the names Britney Spears and Kevin Federline in one sentence. It’s hard to pinpoint what went wrong with the once happy couple (who in 2004 showed up on red carpets hand-in-hand and so lovey dovey). Who can forget the pictures of Britney in that sparkly black dress, K-Fed, and that adorable baby Chihuahua showing up to the Grammys? They even sent out celebrity Christmas cards to their families and friends which had their wedding picture on the front. The Christmas cards depicted K-Fed holding his new bride and Britney cupping her new hubby’s chin and cheek. In a short amount of time, they had two boys together, Preston and Jayden.

All of that happiness quickly came to an end when they announced their split up in 2006. It’s hard enough nowadays to make a marriage work in normal circumstances, and constantly having your actions being scrutinized by the public eye definitely didn’t help. There were pictures popping up all over the news and internet of Brit partying with Hollywood divas like Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, and many other socialites. All that publicity apparently did not go over well with the hubby after becoming new parents. Why did Britney not focus on her priority role as a mother? Did K-Fed get fed up with Britney’s overdone party lifestyle and her alleged drug use? Spears’ new habits seemed to just spiral out of control and Kevin finally had enough. Ironically, the bad boy who was once labeled as a party boy, boy toy, and wanna-be rapper kept his responsibilities in check where they should have been…with their kids.

Unfortunately for Britney but luckily for the children, the judge awarded sole custody of Preston and Jayden, ages 2 ½ and 1 ½ at the time, to Kevin. All of the sudden, the former Britney back-up dancer was a full-time daddy. People Magazine reported that Spears’ child support agreement was to give K-Fed $15, 000 per month. She was also responsible for paying the fees and legal tab for Federline’s lawyer, Mark Vincent Kaplan, which totaled an astounding $250,000! Later on, K-Fed requested the monthly child support be bumped up an extra $5,000 for a new total of $20,000 a month.

Although the marriage ended and Britney lost custody of her two boys, reports have said that the two still get along and both have the children’s best interest in mind. The marriage seemed to be more of a chaos than the divorce. There were no court showdowns, and none of he said-she said. There was just the painless settlement of Britney getting increased time with her sons and Kevin upping the payment a bit. In fact, at the time Britney was going through her extremely public meltdown in front of everyone in America, Kevin admitted it being one of the lowest points in his life. These days, Britney seems to have gotten her act back together, and hopefully keeps it that way. The better her behavior, the better the relationship with her kids and her babies’ daddy.

2008 Holiday cards sent by former New York Governor, Mario Cuomo

I’m sure I’m not the only person looking up celebrity holiday cards on the internet, but if you haven’t tried that yet, you should. It’s a fun thing to see. You can tell so much about a person’s taste when you look at the little things in their life. I came across Mario Cuomo’s holiday cards from last year and at first I didn’t think much about it, but then I started to think about the man and I looked a little further into his life and family. It’s just a fun thing to do, like reading about celebrities in a gossip magazine.

I have to admit, I always liked Mr. Cuomo when he was New York’s Governor. The holiday cards design is rather “worldly,” literally speaking. It is a globe with a ribbon running around it with all the flags of all the nations of the world and white doves holding it up. Running around the edge of the card appears to be different holiday sentiments like Happy New Year, Merry Christmas, and Peace on Earth. It speaks of a former politician but in a nice and respectful way.

I’m sure most people know his family by now. He has two sons: Andrew is the New York District Attorney and Chris is on ABC’s Good Morning America morning news show. I love this guy! He is terrific at his job and sooooo good looking! I understand one of Mr. Cuomo’s daughters is married to the designer Kenneth Cole. Holy cow! Can you imagine her wardrobe?!?!? Lucky woman! Maybe I should look up Kenneth Cole’s Christmas cards, although I’m pretty sure he’s Jewish.

The Lohans wish us all an Adequite Christmas in their holiday cards

Sometimes, you come across a family that puts the fun back in dysfunction. Usually, this family is fictional, as is the case with the Connors on Roseanne. But in this new millennium, the dysfunction is real, or at least, as real as reality shows such as MTV’s The Osbournes. It’s no wonder, then, that it’s not hard to imagine a dysfunctional Christmas at the Lohans’ residence.

It seems you cannot open a magazine or surf a website without coming across a Lohan. Sometimes it’s Ali, younger sister of Lindsey and co-star of – you guessed it – a reality show with her mother, Dina Lohan. Sometimes it’s Michael, the estranged father who seems to enjoy using the limelight to criticize his ex-wife and his eldest daughter’s girlfriend. Often it’s Lindsey herself, seen “hosting” a club gig, fighting and making up with Samantha Ronson (her lesbian lover), or blogging on her MySpace page about everything from Britney Spears to Barack Obama to, well, her dad!

All of the Lohans are present on a satirical Christmas greeting card imagined by the bloggers at Gallery of the Absurd. Dina, known for partying with her daughters, is shown surrounded by Lindsay, Ali, and youngest brother, Cody. Michael is off to the side, decked out in high-waisted “Mom” jeans and a crucifix. The Christmas card wishes everyone an “Adequite” Christmas, which is a callback to the statement Lindsey made upon the passing of her onetime director and mentor, Robert Altman, asking everyone to “BE ADEQUITE.” It’s not easy being in the spotlight, where even your most sincere (but misused and misspelled) words are picked apart.

One can only imagine what it’s really like to be “Living Lohan.” After all, Ali is all of 14 and looks about as old as her mother. Dina seems like she wants to be a sister more than a mother. Michael…well, he appears to be going after every last second of his 15 minutes in the spotlight. It’s no wonder that Lindsey, a talented child actress seen first in the remake of The Parent Trap and later in such films as Freaky Friday and Mean Girls, became a tabloid target and rehab returnee.

If we had one Christmas wish for this family, it would be for youngest brother, Michael Jr., to stay out of the paparazzi crosshairs and succeed at growing into his twenties without the bird’s eye view of tabloid readers and gossip columnists. We’ll send our letter in to Santa and hope for a Christmas miracle! Perhaps we can use this Christmas card as support for our case!

John Glenn forgot to pay for Christmas cards or was just too cheap to write check...you decide

What’s up with celebrities who think they don’t have to pay for anything? I mean who do they think they are? Where was I when the free rides were being handed out? I always wanted to be a celebrity but when I realized I wasn’t a needy sort of person I knew I’d never make it…and I pay my own bills! I know it’s not like they don’t have any money, unless Bernie Madoff got a hold of it, so what’s the deal?!? Do they think we are so impressed with their fame that we just want to give them free Christmas cards? Unless they are out there advertising for us – I don’t think so. Everyone needs to make a living. How else can we afford to buy their CDs or catch their latest flicks?

Jesse Jackson did not pay for his Christmas cards. That is just not fair!

Take John Glenn for example. Here’s a man, the first American man, who orbited the earth yet he never paid for his Christmas cards. Maybe he suffered oxygen deprivation or lost his wallet in outer space. Where in the world (or should I say where in outer space) does he get the idea that he doesn’t have to pay? At the very least I should have been on his Christmas list. Another celebrity deadbeat is Jesse Jackson and his Rainbow Coalition (before it became the Rainbow/Push Coalition). This is a man who fights for equality for all people. Where’s the equality when he doesn’t pay for his Christmas cards? Or does he feel that the world owes him for all past inequalities? Talk about unfair!

So the next time you get impressed by a celebrity you might want to ask yourself, could this be a deadbeat celeb?