Garlic-themed holiday cards from Todd English

In his holiday cards sent in 2007, I’m sure that celebrity chef Todd English was so adamant about using phrase “Seasoned Greetings” that he didn’t put much thought into the image. Garlic? Really Todd?!? If I owned restaurants named Olives and Figs, I think I would put olives and/or figs on the front of my holiday cards accompanied by the greeting “Have a Fruitful Holiday” or “Merry Christmas!” Todd is so good looking though, he should have put his own picture on the front! He could have kept the “Seasoned Greetings” part but I doubt anyone would have looked at the sentiment when they had him to gaze upon. He was named one of People Magazines 50 Most Beautiful people, you know!

Some of Todd’s television credits include his public television series, Cooking In with Todd English produced by Connecticut Public Television, Iron Chef USA on UPN, the Food Network’s Chef du Jour, The Main Ingredient, Bobby Flay’s Food Nation, and NBC’s The Today Show. Todd has also authored the critically acclaimed cookbooks, The Olives Table and The Figs Table, both published by Simon & Schuster.

Since Todd English is a very busy guy, I will give him a break and imagine that someone else ordered his Christmas cards for him. In addition to owning several restaurants, writing books, and appearing on television, Todd is very involved with several charities including: Big Brother, Community Servings, Share Our Strength, and the Boys and Girls Clubs.

Spoof Christmas cards from John Mayer...in DayGlo

Okay, so John Mayer didn’t really send this design out as his Christmas cards (as far as I know), but being he is a legendary ladies’ man and wannabe comedian, I’m guessing this wouldn’t be too out of the question for him.

I didn’t think John was old enough to have partaken in the 80s DayGlo fashion fiasco, so I had to investigate this further. It turns out the photo was taken on a three day Caribbean cruise that Mayer hosted for his fans last year called the “The Mayercraft Carrier.”  The cruise featured sets by John in a nightclub setting and performances by a dozen or so other artists. Mayer was actually seen jogging around deck in this outfit which was described as a “Borat” thong. You’ll have to google that on your own if you want to see the full length photos, boys and girls, as this is a family friendly site! Boy, I guess you could say he really gives his fans their money’s worth. What would Jennifer Aniston think if she saw this? Or maybe she has seen it and this is what inspired her recent GQ cover photo wearing nothing but a tie?

For those not familiar with John Mayer or don’t recognize him from this photo, he is best known for hit songs like Waiting On The World To Change and Your Body is a Wonderland, both of which earned him Grammy Awards for Best Male Pop Vocal Performance. Featured on their February 2007 cover entitled “New Guitar Gods,” Rolling Stone called John Mayer “Slowhand Jr.,” a reference to legendary guitarist Eric Clapton.  And in May of that same year, he was listed in TIME Magazine’s Top 100 Most Influential People of the Year. Let’s just hope that influence doesn’t extend to fashion trends.

Funny gal Jenna Fisher, sender of personalized holiday cards

Wouldn’t you like to receive holiday cards that have that extra special personal touch?  That is exactly what you would have received if you were fortunate enough to be on Jenna Fischer’s holiday cards list.  In a time where people often feel they have no time to send cards at all, it is nice to see such effort being placed by an Emmy Award-nominated actress.  Enclosed in her actual holiday cards were small insert cards containing a personal message to each recipient. The two cards were complimented by a hand tied ribbon and the envelopes were adorned with a Christmas stamp and holiday return address label. She added colorful flair by addressing the envelopes with both red and green ink.

Jenna’s friends and family should feel lucky that they received such elaborate personalized holiday cards considering how busy Jenna has been!  Jenna, a Truman State University graduate is best known for her role as Pam Beesly in the U.S. adaptation of “The Office.”  In addition to guest starring on several television programs prior to joining cast of the “The Office,” Jenna has lent her comedic talent to several films including “Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story” and “Blades of Glory.”

Fischer was also awarded a Screen Actors Guild Emerging Actor Award for the role she played in the mockumentary, “Lollilove,” which she also wrote and directed.  Certainly a feat even more impressive than the personal touch Jenna adds to her holiday cards.

Satirical Christmas cards design depicting Jessica Simpson and family

Christmas cards that display family togetherness seem to be just the thing for Jessica Simpson. This satirical card has a whole lot of togetherness going on with father Joe showing his pride in the two lionesses he has produced. Jessica, as befits her elder sister model role, is at the forefront displaying her Christmas cheer. Baby sister Ashlee, dressed up with her Christmas hat, is a little less prominent as she has yet to achieve her full potential of Jessica Simpson magic. This is a classic holiday card anyone would proudly display on their mantle.

Every once in a while someone comes along who seems to have more endowments than any one person could possibly use. These are usually women who portray themselves as blonde bombshells with an abundance of the ditz factor for which they parlay into a successful career without having any need for talent, intelligence or common sense.

Jessica Simpson burst on the scene in just this fashion. Who can forget the now infamous line “Is this chicken or is this tuna?” which Jessica issued in her bubbly voice about a can of Chicken of the Sea tuna. This one utterance catapulted Jessica Simpson and her then husband, Nick Lachey, into the must see television reality show of the season. MTV aired the Newlyweds in 2003, 2004 and 2005. The show featured the two pop stars and their families and became a hit with the very first show. Unfortunately, television cameras that follow you day and night might be a little to much of a good thing. On the day before Thanksgiving, 2005, the couple separated and later divorced.

Jessica Simpson did not allow this to keep her down. She kept herself in the spotlight despite a mediocre talent and rebounded with hit albums, videos, movies, wallpaper, perfume and a clothing line. So just how ditzy can she really be? One would think that with all that beauty, momentum and, yes, intelligence Jessica Simpson could come up with a really beautiful Christmas card that could, just as a change, show some taste.